Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
