why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
