i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
