6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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