Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
