We're facebook friends in real life
I don't think brook has ever known best
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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