if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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