Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
