So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
MIDGETS
????
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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