We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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