Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
