Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
