C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize