Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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