operation have a gay friend backfired
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
