I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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