Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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