How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Text me some of your sweat
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
