so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So vagazzling was a success
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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