just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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