If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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