"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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