He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
