Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
