The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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