SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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