Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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