So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
