Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
