Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Is it penis luge time yet?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I touched a dick in church today
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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