lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
