I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
