ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
God, I missed his penis.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
