your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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