I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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