i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
