Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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