New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
