The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
