I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
