I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
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