Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize