There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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