I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
