okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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