i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
