tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
