The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
