i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
