Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
