it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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