all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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