one might say we're banned from that church
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
