what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize