I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
