On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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