My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
