You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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