he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
