Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
