So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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