They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
