Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
